God could have created us as robots, incapable of making mistakes. Instead, He gave us the greatest gift of all: freedom. Because where there is no freedom, love cannot exist either.
That same gift is what we must learn to offer our children.
The parable of the prodigal son, Luke 15,11-32, begins with a son who makes a deeply mistaken decision. Asking for one's inheritance while the father was still alive was a tremendous offense in Jewish culture; it was like saying to him:
"I prefer your possessions over you."
And yet, the father does not force him to stay.
He does not manipulate him. He does not chase after him. He does not try to control his every step. He simply respects his freedom.
That doesn't mean he agreed with his son's decision. It means he understood that no one can love, change, or be converted out of obligation.
Many of us as parents live exhausted trying to control what only God can transform. We check their social media, try to find out where they are, solve the problems they themselves create, pay for the consequences of their bad decisions and, without realizing it, keep them from learning from them.
The father of the prodigal son did something very different.
He waited.
He surely wept. He surely prayed. But he waited. Scripture says:
"Coming to his senses…" Luke 15,17
That moment did not happen in the father's house.
It happened when the son experienced the consequences of his decisions.
The conversion was born in his own heart.
As parents, we must ask ourselves with humility:
Am I helping my child… or am I keeping them from facing the consequences of their actions?
There is a huge difference between loving and constantly rescuing.
To love is to be available.
Constantly rescuing can hinder growth.
This does not mean abandoning our children or turning our backs on them. Much less when there is a dangerous situation, a mental illness, or an addiction that requires professional help. Loving also means seeking support when it's needed.
But even in those cases we must remember something: no one can decide for another person to convert, to change, or to accept help.
Only God can touch the heart.
And we must trust that He loves our children infinitely more than we ourselves are capable of loving them.
The end of the parable also teaches us how we should receive them.
When the son returned truly repentant, the father did not hold it against him.
He did not remind him of his mistakes.
He did not humiliate him.
He ran to him, embraced him, put the ring on him and sandals on his feet, and threw a feast.
That is the heart of the Father.
And so should ours be too.
Let us raise our children with boundaries.
Let us love them with freedom.
Let us pray without ceasing.
And let us trust that God knows how to reach our children's hearts far better than we do.